Sometimes writing is hard. Not necessarily the act itself, but more so the idea that maybe no one really cares all that much about what you have to say. I’ve been at a bit of standstill lately when it comes to feeling inspired to really share with you guys. I’ve been working on some projects quietly, for myself, for the time being. I’ve been writing as an act of therapy to get through some things, and as discipline, to learn some things, and to grow. But, truth be told, I miss it, the sharing part…and I miss you, the few of my loyal readers out there.
Do you ever get to those spots in life in which you just don’t feel like you are inspiring, or all that influential to anyone? Or maybe that you are seen, but, only from afar, through a window. People stop, they stare in briefly, but, then they just continue their shopping, with no real desire to look at you any closer. I pass no judgement here, I’m quite the window shopper myself, often staring from afar. Upon analyzing myself further, I questioned why am I a window shopper? Pretending we’re talking about material things rather than people for a moment, most times when I window shop, there’s a few possibilities as to why I don’t look closer, or try it on, or ‘get to know it’ if you will. The first reason being the obvious, I probably can’t afford it. Followed by, it probably wouldn’t look good on me, or what would other people think if I wore it? With those thoughts in mind, let’s go back to people. I think I can relate, right? Let’s look.
“I can’t afford it.”
Obviously we aren’t talking about the Benjamins here, but i think we can all relate to having those moments of meeting people and thinking, “they are out of my league.” We don’t approach people because we don’t think that our company would be of any interest to them. Flip it around, people looking through the glass may think the same about us. I’m an example kind of person, so to put things into perspective, here’s a little story; In college, my major goal was just to get in, get out, and move to Nashville. I had big dreams, and big plans. I didn’t realize the way that this mindset was affecting the perception of those around me. Of people that I wanted to be my friends. It wasn’t until years later, when one of the friends I had made through college, but, had only gotten to know better afterwards, told me something, that i really understood. She said, “Everyone always just thought you were snobby, or wanted to keep to yourself, we thought you just wanted to do your own thing.” The past is the past, but, it does haunt me a bit now to realize all the missed opportunities that we’re probably there. But, on both ends, we were all just window shopping. Neither party wanting to fully approach because we thought the other wasn’t approachable. I’m glad to be getting to reconnect with some of these people years later, with a more confident mindset, and getting to know them better. Sometimes it’s fun just to try on the fur, even when you think you can’t afford it.
“It probably wouldn’t look good on me, what would other people think?”
We’ll stick with the fur here, because it’s a pretty good analogy. I’ve always been terrified to wear fur, for the two things mentioned above. What if people think you’re trying too hard? What if they don’t think it seems like your style? It’s kind of the same thing with people. There’s no better example here than the dating pool when you’re 30 years old. When you hit this age, and your ultimate goal is marriage, there comes a time when you have to stop window shopping. You try on the fur, and the leather, and the wool, and so on. And people start saying, “that doesn’t seem like your type,” or “since when is red your color, i thought you liked black?” And you don’t know if you should be shopping at the Goodwill or Bloomingdales, and all of a sudden you just don’t want to shop at all. But, you know you have to, because, well…you really need a “coat.” It’s at this point that you step back and you have to block everyone else out, because, it’s not your friends, or your sisters, or your parents that are going to be wearing the coat. You don’t stop at the window, because you have to go inside and get to know things a little better, to realize if you think they’ll keep you warm through the winter. That’s hard sometimes because we treasure the opinions of our loved ones, but, we also have to remember what makes us happy, because, at the end of the day, they’ll love us either way.
So you see, if we stand outside the window, we just never really know. And what we have to remember, is that if we try the coat on, and we don’t like it, no one says we have to keep it or wear it everyday. But, if we never try it on, or make ourselves available, we might miss out on the comfort and the warmth. And that gives me chills.
Until next time…
Everyday a HollyDay 