Sugar > Dirt

Well, it’s the day. The best day, the dreaded day, just another day….Valentines Day.

I’ve been reading through several posts the last couple of days in social media land. The #ValentinesDayChallenge survey has been a fun one to follow. All of the love stories, and milestones of my friends are so fun to read. (How are we old enough that some of you have been married for going on 15 years? That can’t be right.) Then there’s some of my favorite of the surveys….the love stories with your pets….I’ll never scroll past a cute puppy.

But, as the day itself has arrived, I’ve seen so many disheartening posts. Ones that go beyond being funny or poking a little fun to really being mean to yourself, or discrediting your value. I know this is a little deep, but, my book selection in the last several months has been straight up self-help, life lessons, forgive it all, “love you for you” kinda stuff. And, though I still struggle with self-love sometimes, these books have been eye openers.

I am admittedly a jokester and one who tends to discredit myself when it comes to the subject of love…hence my book selections. It’s just easier to be funny than to really dig deep and sort it out. After some of the stuff I’ve read today, I keep coming back to the question we often hear, “would you talk to your best friend (or sister, mom, daughter) the way you are talking to yourself when you look in the mirror?” Even in that joking manner, when you tell yourself you are not good enough, or you are a failure at love, or convince yourself that you don’t deserve a seat at the table….well, you might as well be spooning yourself dirt, because that’s the taste you are going to leave.

In her latest book, Lysa Terkeurst puts it this way, “What we experience all throughout life impacts the perceptions we carry. The longer we carry those perceptions, the more they become the truths we believe, live by, operate under, and use to help us navigate life today.”

So when you’re constantly spooning a convincing bite of low worth, then that becomes how you perceive yourself. Sadly, the way we feel about all of this often comes from how another person made us feel at some point in our life. Rather than just getting a new spoon, we keep hold of the dirty one, bringing it along to the next table, so with each bite, rather than letting in potential sugar, we just keep tasting the yuck.

When I see you all, my friends, constantly feeding on the dirt that someone not worthy of your time left for you (and me…all of us at times) it breaks my heart. Or even if it’s not any person specifically, but rather an idea you’ve fed yourself because you’ve never spent it with someone else, so suddenly it’s because something is wrong with you, or you’re not good enough.

I’m just asking you all now to please LEAVE THAT TABLE. Whether you are sitting at it alone, or with someone who makes you feel like you deserve dirt over sugar…get up and go. Come to my table….I’ll provide the new spoons….and the martinis.

I’m a hopeless romantic, and a sucker for an excuse to be celebrated…there is nothing wrong with that. It’s just “another day” but, it’s one that exists, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to share it with someone. But, don’t let it get in your head and make you feel less than enough. Last year I shared a small sentiment that simply said:

Happy Valentines Day! Whether you are celebrating with your significant other, your best gals, or your good pals, take today to embrace LOVE a little extra!

Embrace love a little extra. Embrace it all around you, and within you….and when you feel like there’s none to be given, look at yourself in the mirror and do that silly thing that always makes you feel uncomfortable…stare her right in the eyes and say “I love you. You are enough.”


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