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Feeling Rejected?

Introduction to Breaking the Rejecter Mentality

Late nights  are probably when you will find me in my true, real, most genuine form.  My hair is piled in a wet, curly mess atop my head, put there not with a brush, but a quick one run through of my fingers, full of the little bumpies and loop-di-loos.  My eyes are tired, and my lips are still stained with cracks of this mornings lipstick. But, I am completely unbothered by it, here in my “me space.”

This is the time that most of my thinking takes place, in complete quiet, with no chaos of the world around me. This is the time when I can just be completely me; unfortunately, sometimes completely me is a dramatic overthinker. Tonight is one of those nights.  And here I am, stewing up an unnecessary mess in my head.

I refer to myself as a Rejecter when it comes to relationships.  Now, this isn’t something I’m proud of, it’s something I’m working towards getting out of every day.  And, if this is you too, please follow heed. A rejecter is someone who refuses to accept, believe, or take something in.   I want you to know that my life is full of great relationships.  People who really make the effort to let it be known that they value me.  I’ve been blessed with great family and friends, all who are above average.  I’m serious, just remarkable people.  Yet, I sit here feeling like I am less than, like, if I were them I would just turn around and walk out the door, why would they want to waste their time on damaged goods?

“If I were them I would just turn around and walk out the door, why would they want to waste their time on damaged goods?”

These thoughts can stem from something as simple as the punctuation used in an email or text message.  I know it sounds ludicrous, but, if a period is placed where I deem an exclamation point to be necessary, I automatically think something is wrong.  I rack my brain for the conversations in the last 24 hours, and try to come up with some reason as to why that period would be the decision made to end that sentence.

And then I shut down.

I mimic that format and pretend everything is fine.  “Okay, cool.” I’ll reply, or something of the nature.  And then the phone rings, because my circle knows that is not my style.  I’m the novel text writer.  I use proper format, complete sentences, paragraphs, as if I’m writing a research paper response to every message.  They laugh, but, they love me for it.  And, that makes me an easy-to-read when it comes to not being “fine.”

I fight great battles with myself when I step into those moments of not really feeling fine.  It really is like that old saying of having an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other, exchanging whispers in each ear; their words each just pinging relentlessly off each other like a good game of table tennis.  And the real frustration sets in when I feel like the devil takes a lead, and I feel defeated, distraught, and miles away from ever feeling fine again.

Of course, the “never feeling fine again” is just me being overly dramatic, letting my emotions run away with my mind for a short time, which is longer than should ever even be allowed.  Why?  Because as II Corinthians teaches us, we can argue and fight every thought that comes into our mind, and we can lead it away and disregard it if it is not in agreeance with the Word of God.

“[Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasoning’s and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ.” – II Corinthians 10:5

In other words, unless I’m willing to allow myself to be a Rejecter in the biggest relationship of all, the relationship with my Father, then I better step up my game; it’s time to let go of the caboose on what I like to call the “hot mess express,” and move on over to the Jesus Train.  Are you with me?

I think it is first important to try and analyze where the “Rejecter Mentality” has stemmed from.   And although there is no cookie cutter script to follow when diving into the closet of your brain and pulling out the skeletons, I can bet you all our lists might look a little more similar than we even realize.

It’s time to examine ourselves. Why does that one little period, that one tiny dot at the end of a sentence have the power to drive me mad? How can I allow myself to have a night full of laughs with my girlfriends, or a weekend getaway with family, feeling in those moments completely at ease, content, happy and complete, and yet, that one little dot from those same people can instantly make me feel so insecure, and so replaceable.

“Yet, that one little dot from those same people can instantly make me feel so insecure, and so replaceable.”

It all seems so silly, so minimalistic to the real problems of the world.  But, listen to me, it is not.  I am such an activist when it comes to feeling emotionally and mentally healthy and stable.  I want you to really take your time and think about your Rejecter Mentality.

Next time I will break down the elements of what causes the Rejecter Mentality.

We are conquerors, we are in this together, and we got this!

Xoxo.

 

 

“Look deep into nature and then you will understand everything better.”

4:35 AM….

That’s what time the alarm went off this morning…

On my day off.

And let me tell you people, it was worth it.  My sister and brother-in-law, (the third wheeling party!)  crammed my new, pretty pink kayak into the back of their jeep, and off we went.  We had plans of making it down to the water to catch the sunrise, and though that didn’t quite go as planned.  (Trucking a kayak down a muddy hill isn’t as easy peasy as one might think!) But, nonetheless, it was a perfect morning.

It’s funny how big your problems can seem if you just sit there and allow yourself to stew on them.  How if you spend all your time scrolling through all your social media sites, and comparing yourself to everyone else, you start feeling pretty “meh.”.  But, shut off the phones, and just be for a few hours, and things seems so much clearer, so much less complicated, so simple, and so wonderful.

We even stumbled upon this pretty cool little waterfall…well worth the sinking, smelly mud trek to get there.

Can you believe I had to really talk myself into spending the money on the investment of a kayak? (I really just felt super uncool because everyone I knew had one!) 😉  I’ve got some work to do on my “less splash technique,”   but, I look so forward it!

Find something new to try…I dare you!

Until next time…

 

#ShewhoDaresProject

“I think as a society we get so caught up with perfection and thinking if we reach a certain destination we will find happiness.  I’m learning happiness is appreciating the journey, and acknowledging your progress.” -@justjessicahealthylife

I’m so excited to introduce ya’ll to Jessica Foster!  She’s fit, she’s fun, she’s motivated, and she’s constantly sharing recipes that give me big ole heart eyes! (Don’t worry, I’ll  point you in the right direction to those!)   I had the opportunity to talk with Jessica about what got her started on this journey, and how she stays motivated, even when the critics start spreading the hate!

I met Jessica several years ago while we were both working for a veterinary office.  I witnessed a little bit of the beginning of her journey towards bettering herself and her body, and remember thinking even then that she was such an inspiration to women everywhere. But, as she explains, it wasn’t until about 5 years ago that she got into full force focus and wanted to gravitate towards a complete lifestyle change.

“I’ve been through a roller coaster of ups and downs with losing weight to only gain it back. I finally started to really dig into nutrition, and the importance of whole foods. And through that finding easy, delicious, nutritious recipes.”

When asked to share one of her  favorites, Jessica had somewhat of a hard time because she has so many! But, with the temperatures rising, Smoothie Bowls seem to be a crowd pleaser for her palate.  Her current favorite?  Dark Cherry Chocolate Smoothie Bowl!

 

Recipe

1 cup of frozen banana

1 cup of frozen dark cherries

1 cup of unsweetened almond milk (Jessica suggest Califia farms, it’s clean and organic)

1 cup of Protein Powder (Jessica suggests a powder with low sugar and little to no artificial stuff in it.  Her current choice is Vega’s clean protein in Vanilla)

1 tbsp chia seeds (good source of fiber)

1/2 avocado (Jessica says this is a game changer, keeps you full longer and counts towards your healthy fats)

Fill your blender up with some spinach or kale (she knows this scary, but says you can’t taste them, and you get your greens in!)  Jessica topped hers with unsweetened coconut, extra dark cherries, and 2 squares of 85% dark chocolate, this can be bitter if you aren’t used to it..start with at least 70%. And Purely Elizabeth granola (all natural, organic.)

And, although we wish food was the only thing it took to stay fit, we must not forget the physical activity part of the deal!  Jessica does attend a boot camp class at her local gym, that she loves,  but, she also suggests that you find something that makes you excited to exercise, this is what will keep you motivated.

“I have a very active 8 month old border collie that requires running, so I usually run with him a couple days a week.  I work and ride at a local horse barn, another passion/hobby of mine.  I just tried a pure barre class and I loved it! My friends and I take our dogs hiking on Turkey Mountain, and we run the occasional 5k.  I’m getting ready to try yoga with my dog downtown at the Guthrie Green. My advice is to find something you love to do!”

In talking with Jessica, what I loved the most, and what made me realize I had to have her for this project is those kind of statements.  She is so positive, and she really is a big advocate for doing what is right for YOU.  We are all different, with different body styles, and different things that work for us…and we have to embrace that in order to succeed with positive vibes and a healthy spirit.   But…unfortunately, we are still going to run across those who want to criticize our works.

How does Jessica respond to the criticism?

“I use it as a fuel to push me to work harder.  And as an example to show people that I’m all about body positivity and accepting every roll, cellulite, stretch mark, and every imperfection you may have!”

And that is the attitude that gives me room for zero doubt in the success of Miss Jessica on her journey!  She is currently working with the IIN (Institute of Integrative Nutrition) to get her established in her goal of Health Coaching!

I couldn’t be more proud of this girl, beautiful inside and out!  I hope you’ll join me in following her on this road to success, and continuing to bring encouragement to strong women just like her, all over the world!

She who dares, succeeds!

Click below to follow Jessica on her journey (and enjoy all of her delish recpies too!)

Just Jessica Healthy Life

Until next time…

“We must accept renewal as part of our daily mission, always going back in our thoughts to our original commitment to God and reaffirming it.”

I was introduced to this great book called Simple Caring.  When people ask me three words to describe myself, “caring” is always on the list.  I feel like I am such a caring person, most the time I feel like I care too much.  But, maybe caring isn’t as “easy” as I make it out to be.   But it should be.  As this book states..

“Caring is a synonym for love, and without it our lives are quickly drained of purpose. Because caring is at the heart of every good relationship, thinking about how we care for others is a valuable investment of our time.”

If caring is love, and love is caring, then why are relationships so hard?  Why do I always find myself failing miserably at them?

The picture you see atop this article is a candid that my sister took on a quick trip to Kansas City this weekend.  A trip in which I was a “date” for her and her husband, also known as the third wheel.  I sat across the table from them, and just smiled as the waitress came and removed the wine glass, silverware, and napkin set up for the 4th person at the table, and in my mind, as she looked at me and smiled, I just imagined her saying, “oh I’m sorry sweetie, you don’t have a date.”  And then I laugh because I think of the movie Bridesmaids, when the girl is talking away, and says, “this is my husband, you don’t have a husband.”  Or, in Never Been Kissed when the carnival man starts yelling, “lonely rider, lonely rider, need someone to ride with this woman..”  Because, regardless of how cool and composed you try to be, and regardless of how good of a date the other couple is, you still have to rearrange your thoughts when they start going there, and you start thinking that life sucks again.

“Enjoy the ride and be surprised by the destination when you get there.”

How perfect is that quote?  In life we are taught so much to set goals and achieve them. And then set more goals, and achieve them.  And while I’m all about goals and success, sometimes I think we get our minds so geared towards reaching them that we forget to actually enjoy the traffic jams, and construction, and “make a legal u-turn” moments, when they go completely wrong.  Instead, we just pull the car over and and there we are crying in the middle of the intersection because we haven’t made it to that one spot we were supposed to be.

We’ve got to start focusing on the journey more than the destination.

I live for the day that I’m sitting in a traffic jam, and I look over and smile at my husband.  That day that I’m yelling at him because we’re lost and he was supposed to be the navigator, and I’m losing my cool because we are going to be late for dinner, with the same couple that has allowed me to be their third wheel for years.  But, even in those moments, I hope we enjoy our journey as we are working towards the surprise of the destination.

From the outside it can seem that everyone else has it all together.  That their lives are perfect and yours is a mess, but, you have to remind yourself that they too are struggling with different goals and different destinations.

Here comes another goal:

Goal #3 – Continually be aware of my thoughts, and stay committed to covering the bad with good, because we truly can change and overcome by that simple method. Enjoy the journey.  Always enjoy the journey.

Let’s live life.  Truly live.  Let go of worry, let go of expectations and time frames, and just LIVE.  And when it gets hard…just keep repeating those things over and over!

Until next time.  XOXO. 🙂

 

“I always ask God to work through me and let me be a light of some kind and help in this world, so I always pray for that, and I always want to do good.”

She might not be “all real” in the physical sense, if you know what I’m saying.  But, she is SO REAL in every other aspect.  I’ve always admired Miss Dolly, and I just love that quote.

I’ve been in a little bit of a “slump” lately, for lack of better wording.  A little bit of woe is me.  Exactly the kind of thing that I want to stay away from.  That is not Godly.

I went to go to the bathroom at work today.  Walked in, and remembered that that light was out, I closed the door and it was pitch black.  I quickly opened it back up and said, “Oh I forgot that the light was burnt out, I’m not going in the dark.”

“There’s a flashlight in there, just flip it on, you’ll be able to see just fine…” One of my coworkers said.   And in that moment my thoughts automatically went to this..

“God is the flashlight.  God is the light.  You might feel lost or in the dark, but God is your flashlight, and you’re never without it, it never runs out of batteries, you just have to never forget that it’s there.”

Literally, just like that.  My thought process never even skipped a beat on that one, it was just there.  Thank you God, right?

Later in the day I had a patient come in.  I did my usual “hi, how can I help you spill..”  she answered and then followed with, “You are always so friendly and nice, we always love coming in here and coming right to you, thank you for being friendly.”  Again…thank you God, right?

Why have I been having such a hard time with that?  I don’t know, but, thank you God, right?  Thank you God for being my flashlight, and reminding me with that very thing, in a dark bathroom.

I just want to do good.  I just want to always appear as a light shining bright.  I want to be a friendly reminder to all the other shining lights, and never be ashamed to say “thank you for being a blessing!”

Galatians 6:9 reads:

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap if we don’t give up.”

And I’m not giving up.

 

 

She Who Dares…

Wins. Succeeds. Lives. Inspires. Creates. Dreams. Loves.

Goal # 2: Start Something New

It’s been a long week, ya’ll, but it’s time to get back to business.  As promised I am going to dive a little deeper into my second goal; starting something new.

First things first, this blog is part of that goal, because it is still very fresh and new…and it is a lending hand into the new project I am about to share with you.  Lets get started!

Sometimes you get so involved in life, and busyness, that you kind of start to feel like you are wearing blinders to what everyone else in your life has going on.  However, lately, I guess I decided I wanted to start looking a little more at the sun, so, off the shades went.  And let me tell you, I have realized all the POWERFUL WOMEN I am surrounded by.  You ladies are shining bright!

I mean really.  Good Golly.  Ya’ll are AWESOME.  You are killing it with your passions, your dreams.  You are living, and inspiring.  100% inspiring me, and making me so proud I could just cry.  The good tears.  So you ladies are the backbone of this project I’m about to start…

The #SHEwhoDARESProject!

And, brace yourselves, because I am coming after you!!  I want to talk to you, share your stories, your words, your songs, your achievements, your businesses, your lifestyles.  It’s time to start recognizing each other, applauding, loving, and learning from each other!  And I am SO EXCITED!!!

Although I will be reaching out, that doesn’t mean you can’t come to me.  Maybe some of you are doing things I don’t even know you are doing.  Get with me! Shoot me a message, and let’s start talking about you!

This is the perfect chance for us to start a circle of powerful women, a movement, an opportunity for us to learn more about each other, and start making an even bigger difference!

I was getting ready to close…but, as I’m typing this, a text came in from one of my powerful gal pals…

“It’s text a compliment day! And let me start by saying…I am so unbelievably proud of you and this fire you have found inside of you over the last month.  You have made some super brave choices and I can’t wait to see your amazing success!”

This is the stuff I’m talking about.  That made my heart happy, and the smile on my face is so big right now.  This project is going to teach us to feel that way about ourselves every day.

Who’s with me?

Until next time…

GOALS, GOALS, GOALS.

Well, here I am, back to small town life.  Laundry piles, a back to work countdown, and a needy cat.

But, you know what? That’s okay.  That’s no reason to lose positive energy or motivation. (Even though it is a little harder without the sun and sand!)

I stumbled upon this great quote:

“All you need to know is the future is open wide and you are about to create it by what you do.”

That’s super scary and exhilarating all at once, right?

(It also automatically set off Tom Petty in my head…but, you know, I am a bit of a walking jukebox.  That song will be in my head for days.  The sky was the liiiimiiiit…)

Anyway, I’ve made a goal to set more goals.   Big or small.  Just anything that I feel like I can add to my life to benefit my future.

Goal #1 – Appreciate my friends more.

You guys.  I have so many great people in my life, but sometimes, I still allow myself to forget how lucky and blessed I am to have them.  Some are next door, and some are thousands of miles away.

When I got home from Florida, I had a care package waiting for me from a friend who was also on vacation in Key West.  This girl thought of me while on her on vacation, and sent me some goodies, and it was so awesome to get home and get mail!  A couple weeks ago I had a surprise package from my friend all the way in Hawaii (she sent me that awesome coffee I mentioned in a previous blog!) These gals are the greatest!  I sometimes feel like I’m lacking in the friend category because I am so bad at just keeping in contact some days, let alone sending out snail mail!  So part of this goal is to do more of that!

I remember I used to have pen pals all through out my teenage years…wouldn’t it be fun to start writing letters again?

My friends are just the best.  We’re all so busy, and many have kids, and demanding jobs, but, we always make it work. I want to never take that for granted!

The biggest factor in this goal is just to count my blessings in the friend department.  Not by the number of those that I have, but by the quality of the relationship that they put forth! And to add that same quality to their lives!

Goal #2 – Start Something New

Sorry…that’s just a teaser, I’ll get into that one next time…but first…

What’s your number 1?  Share with me, lets talk about our goals and work them out together!

Until next time…

 

RUN?

I THOUGHT YOU SAID RUM.

“You don’t have to do anything, and you just stay so little.”  That seems to be a pretty common statement that I hear from those around me.  Sure, I’ve always been little, standing at a tall 5 foot…(and a 1/2 inch, forever holding onto that,) and I’ve never weighed over 125 pounds in my entire life.  But, let me tell you, it’s not from doing nothing.

Here’s the start of my morning…at the beach…

 

Of course, it’s not always an easy option to decide to get gym time in while  you’re on vacation. I got lucky that the resort offered a free gym.  A short time is all it takes, and I felt so much better and beach ready.  Because, let’s face it, my eating habits haven’t exactly been on point.  Shrimp pizza. Fried shrimp. grilled shrimp, Shrimp Gumbo. (Just call me Bubba!) Not to mention the adult beverages that are the rewards.  I’m a “Rewards for your work” type.  Some don’t quite believe in that motto, but, kind of like the “work to live” thing, I “run to reward.”  No Shame.

Like I mentioned, I’m a time manager, so, I don’t want to spend half my day in the gym.  30 minutes is plenty enough.

Todays Workout:

• 1 1/2 miles on treadmill
• 60 leg press
• 30 shoulder press
• 30 lat pulldown
• 25 squats
• 100 variety abs

A “Hodge Podge” workout if you will.  Just whatever feels good is okay! Embrace what works for you, and what you’re in the mood for.  This will make it so much easier.

I also tried to keep my breakfast pretty light today…

 

 

 

 

“The Only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.”

I just love that quote, because it is so true.  As I’ve openly admitted, comparison is one of my true struggle points.  Even when I’m at the beach, I’m surrounded by women who have longer legs, flatter stomachs, more muscle, more tone.  But, guess what?  I bet you they work real hard too.  I also bet they look at women all around them and think the same things.

At the end of the day, I have to be happy in knowing that every day I’m just a little bit better version of myself than I was yesterday. And that’s what I work for and towards.  I encourage you to do the same!

And about those rewards…

Until next time..

 

 

The Beach Cure

Love, or Lack thereof.

It’s been a rough few days leading up to this getaway.  I’m not one for big sob stories, but, breakups suck.  Regardless of the situation, the he said/she said, the mutual-ness, the “it’s for the best,” they still suck. And sometimes it’s hard to find a medicine to cure the heartache.  It’s one of those “run it’s courses” diseases, that you just have sit back and wait it out.

I will admit, the sting is a little less when the available medicine is  a beach vacation, planned months previously.  You know what they say about God and timing, well, He had my back on this one. 100%.

In fact, this blog was already in the works, but nothing like this. Completely different name, different story to tell, different ideas.

But, I wanted to start fresh.  Completely new.  Completely me. No input from anyone else. No overthinking.

I woke up this morning to the sound of the ocean.  Brewed myself a fresh cup of 100% Kona Coffee, fresh out of Hawaii, sent in a care package from my friend Amy last week.

So here I am drinking my dark roast, Hawaiian coffee, listening to the waves roar, with a picture perfect view.  And I thought to myself, there’s no time to be sad. No time to be regretful.

It’s time to live.  Freely. Fully. Completely.

This song I love has just been playing on repeat in my head over the last few days;

“I used to feel sorry for someone like me in a corner booth pretending to read on a Friday night, used to say it just ain’t right. How could anybody ever have any fun, without somebody, without someone, it never dawned on me, the possibility…and it’s not a bad thing.”

The possibility is so endless.

Every person has a different definition of success.  To some people, success is all work related.

“I don’t live to work, I work to live.”  A great friend recently told me this, and I thought it was so great.

My definition of success is achieved by relationship and value.  Time management if you will.  If I can successfully hold onto healthy relationships with family and friends, manage a healthy lifestyle at the gym, and find time to travel and experience new things, then I feel more than successful.

Sometimes it’s hard not to compare myself to others.  Those my age who are married, who have kids, or who have found a very successful career path.  But then I have to remind myself, some people are the triple whistling bottle rockets on the fourth of July, and some people are the punks that lit them.  I’m the punk in that, I spread my love and encouragement to all of those around me.  My fire fuels their drive to explode into their version of success.

And that, my friends, is pretty damn important.

Don’t be scared to be the punk.

Until next time…